Film Review--High School Musical 3: Senior Year

High School Musical 3: Senior Year
written and directed by Peter Barsocchini
starring Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, Corbin Bleu, Monique Coleman, Bart Johnson, Alyson Reed, Olesya Rulin, Jemma McKenzie-Brown



Alright, here we go again. We’re taking the same sex-drenched ride, careening through traffic and breakneck speed unawares of the dangers we face. Then some fat little kid on a tiny scooter crosses our path and we squish the little bastard beneath our rims. Then we go into the adjacent parking lot and do some hideous dance routine to the sounds of the worst boy band anyone has ever soaked their panties over. This is HSM3 in its essential form.

Whatever story exists in this thing is lost amidst all the dancing and the singing. At least the first two even bothered to tell a compelling story but this one fails to make even that much of an effort. Still, there is a tremendous amount of energy here and moments of breathtaking athleticism that make it worth watching for much of the show. The set pieces are all pretty and worth looking at and the costumes have a certain edgy chic that always leaves me gasping. Aside from that the only reason to keep watching is to see just what dance steps and lousy songs are about to be unleashed on the unwitting.

There’s nothing worse than a musical that contains forgettable songs whose appeal remains a mystery throughout. I cannot fathom who the target audience is for these songs but it can’t be for any teenager as I remember them. I hate to sound like an angry old man (which I am incidentally) but these are not the kinds of songs kids should be listening to. I’m from the school where this music would get you kicked in the head with a razor-adorned boot if anyone caught you listening to it. Pre-teens? God, I hope they have more of a discerning ear than this. That leaves toddlers and babies and no mother in her right mind should every subject the helpless wee things to this kind of torment. It’s cruel and unfair and I believe emphatically that the music one plays for the very young affects them forever. So, no, this music serves nobody in the end. Yet there is so much of it here that it cannot be avoided.

Not that these kids cannot sing. They can all carry a tune and they know how to wiggle their bits in such a way that the audience gets some kind of a thrill out of the whole mess. But, there is only so much of this that I can take. I’d rather be popping the boils off of the fat kid’s back in a run down mental institution filled with screetching rats and horny old men with perpetual erections than listen to this.

The story as it goes involves a huge production with their last gruelling, horrific months as the central theme. There are also four kids up for Julliard scholarships with only one opening. Then they graduate and that’s it for the plot. Oh, Troy (Efron) and Gabriella (Hudgens) have special moments where they get all gooey thinking about the future that beckons them like a greasy man luring kiddies to his car with Hello Kitty cards. Troy is tormented because he is one of the ones up for the scholarship and he has promised his dad Jack (Johnson) that he will attend the University of Albuquerque. Oh yeah, Gabriella has gotten into Stanford’s early start program so she’s going to leave him all alone with his feelings. That’s about it for the plot. Well, Sharpay (Tisdale) is still a royal bitch to everyone and throws fits which is precisely how we want her to act.

These kids are all eunuchs who seem utterly devoid of hormones that ought to drive them clean out of their minds. But this is some innocuous world where such grunting shall never be heard. It’s a sterilized universe replete with healthy kids who are all acrobats and who know how to drive the beat so hard it cries and falls flat on its face into the dirt. This would have been enjoyable if the songs were more meaty or intoxicating or both.

There is one bit in a junkyard where a group of boys dance to the tune of “The Boys are Back”. I couldn’t help but think of the Village People or Frankie Goes to Hollywood only the music sucked by comparison. I also thought of Truman Capote, designer footwear, feather boas, being fabulous, man-on-man discos, and Proposition 8. Seriously.

There are some actors in this thing that I am curious about. Will they transform themselves into the kind of actors who will be able to take on challenging roles that actually demand some acting from them? Will Zac Efron morph into Johnny Depp and establish himself as something far beyond the mere pretty boy who makes tweeners gasp and cry? Lucas Grabeel is is Gus Van Zant’s “Milk” which is a fine start. Olesya Rulin made a film called “Vampire Chicks with Chainsaws” so perhaps she’s on the right track as well. But she’s also in an upcoming film starring Billy Ray Cyrus and Heather Locklear so maybe the jury is still out on that one. The point is that there is real talent here and one can only hope that it leads to roles of complexity and depth.

The film seems like a mish-mash of a bunch of different dance styles and cinematic precedents. There’s a bit of Agnes de Mille, Busby Berkley, Saturday Night Fever, waltz, and whatever the hell else those street ragamuffins are shaking their moneymakers at. These kids can hustle, there is no doubt and their moves are fairly smooth and relatively enjoyable for what they are. They aren’t exactly scintillating or seductive although Ashley Tisdale does manage to titillate a bit with her daring costumes. Regardless, it is quite thrilling to watch the kind of athleticism on display here. It’s an opening, consumed with enthusiasm and a certainty about the future that drives this film forward. There is a sense that the future is crowding in too fast for at least Gabriella’s liking. Also, there is a clinging to the idea that nobody wants to let go of the experience of being in high school and all the memories it affords them as they prepare to move beyond it’s comforting and seemingly safe walls. This film is all about a sheer optimism for the future and everything that it might bring down the road. There is no place for true despair here. There are no depressed kids listening to Fields of the Nephilim records and drawing frighteningly accurate pictures of internal organs and airline disasters. There seem to be no dorks or spazzes or anyone who doesn’t fit in here. In many ways the school life depicted is a blatant lie and there is no room for loss, regret or shame. In this codified world life has become inculcated against anything remotely smacking of reality as it is experienced by many students nationwide. Of course the film would have to abandon its primary mission which is to entertain fluffily with little pink clouds and fuzzy slippers.

The performances in this film are all adequate for the material presented to the actors. Lucas Grabeel in particular stands out as it is clear that he is supremely talented both as a performer and as an actor. He is charismatic, energetic and there is clear indication that there is something else inside him waiting for its opportunity to be unleashed upon an unwitting world. I can see him playing a series of tortured roles in serious films somewhere down the line. He possesses everything a leading man needs to be successful and he should be able to make the move up the ladder and establish himself as a bona fide contender in the business. Ashley Tisdale hits the same exact notes as she did in the first two films. She pouts, purrs, and sort of vamps it up. There is something quite appealing about how she presents her character. Sharpay is a welcome addition to the long line of catty, manipulative female characters who charm mainly because of the tenacity of their naughtiness. Vanessa Hudgens plays it cute enough but doesn’t come across as a viable personality in this film. I thought she had more to work with in the first two films but in this one she sort of floats about unconnectedly in this chapter. Olesya Rulin possesses a diabolical cuteness that tends to obscure her performance. Her character is both the most talented and strangely introverted member of the class. She is the one who seems to have experienced the most self doubt and psychological torment but it’s only a guess because she’s as perky as a sprite in this thing.

Overall, there are moments in this film where everything seems to come together and it works after a fashion. The dancing grows on you and one is able to tune out the music and imagine scenes twenty years later when all those glorious hopes have been hopelessly dashed and all that is left is drinking and acute self-loathing. Then the music stops and it’s back to inane chatter and a threadbare plot. It’s also strange why there aren’t more fat kids in this school. There is one girl whose name I cannot recall who is chubby and has become a seriously bad-ass cheer leader in this one. I wanted more of her because she’s the next Nikki Blonsky, I swear. With those moves and confidence she’s going through the roof, man. She’s really the best thing in this film. I don’t think I’ve seen that kind of enthusiasm in a film before. It’s infectious, thrilling and utterly devoid of pretense. It towers over the rest of the forced gaiety in this film. Essentially, it rocks harder than the film ever could. That’s just the way it is.